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You can go to any bookstore, brick and mortar or online, and find hundreds of books on the topic. Just google the word "leadership" and you get 480,000,000 hits in .40 seconds. Derek Jeter just retired and that adjective of being a "leader" was thrown out there countless times. It's probably why his nickname was the "Captain". But really, how are you supposed to filter out all the crap?
And who are these people really? Entrepreneurs and self made millionaires who tell you "If I can do it, so can you!"? Or someone of a certain political or social affiliation that thinks just because they believe it's true than it has to be? Is it someone who thought that just because something worked once that it is the greatest thing since sliced bread? Who knows...
Please do not misunderstand me. There are many fine people in the world who are great leaders and are able to effectively wax poetically on the subject. I have found that those I can relate to are the ones I am more inclined to listen to and take their advice. There are others that I have to scratch my head ask "WTH?" While I am no expert on the subject and I am most certainly not the sharpest spoon in the drawer, I do have a certain level of experience as a leader and perhaps you can relate to me.
As a Senior Chief in the Navy leadership is a constant everyday. As a Dad leadership is a constant everyday. I believe that these two roles are what define me as a leader. On a daily basis Sailors look to me for guidance and mentorship, as do my children. With Sailors it is more of a conscious thought and effort to engage me in dialogue. With my kids, well it's because I'm their Dad and it's my job.
I have found many similarities between leading junior Sailors and raising (i.e. leading) my kids. Both feel as though they have some sort of entitlement in life. Don't get me wrong, my kids are great kids but I feel as though it is a societal issue right now. Both constantly feel the need to ask "why" and then pout when they don't get the answer they want. Both will push me and try me just to see what my reaction is and how much they can get away with. Both like to say "that's not fair!"
Both make me proud on a regular basis. Both often go the extra mile to complete a job or homework assignment. Both show great heart and spirit when dealing with their contemporaries. Both say thank you and mind their military bearing or manners (respectively). Both are learning their place in this world in which we live, work and play.
I do my best not to screw them up too badly. I try to actively listen to them and understand where they are in their thought process; trying to determine what the intent is behind the dialogue. When asked for an opinion I am straightforward and occasionally blunt. With Sailors and kids, giving them bad gouge is no bueno. Attempting to understand a junior Sailor or my kids, even though I was both, is mind-numbing at times. :)
In any given conversation I strive to give them the most valuable information I can. I'll give them analogies, I'll tell them of my own experiences and past, I'll try to relate it to current events, I'll tell them stories...I'll try anything I can to get through to them the best I can. And then hope they make the right decision...the right decision for them, not for me.
Everyday I struggle with being just a little bit better at being a leader than I was the day before; for both my Sailors and my kids. Everyday I pray to God for strength, wisdom and courage to guide my words; in order to have the biggest, most positive impact I can so they can make the right decision, now a later.
My Sailors and my kids define me as a leader, what defines you?
